Come verificare l'esistenza reciproca dei campi nella stessa tabella in due colonne

Qualcosa del genere funzionerebbe per te:

With ManagerWorkers As
    (
    -- get managers with workers
    Select Managers.WorkerUsername As ManagerUsername, Workers.WorkerUsername
    From tblMyTable As Managers
        Join tblMyTable As Workers
            On Workers.ManagerUsername = Managers.WorkerUsername
    ) 
Select *
From ManagerWorkers
Union All
-- get workers that have a manager in the above list
Select WorkerUsername, ManagerUsername
From tblMyTable
Where Exists(   Select 1
                From ManagerWorkers
                Where ManagerWorkers.ManagerUsername = tblMyTable.ManagerUsername
                )   

MODIFICA :Dato l'aggiornamento della domanda, che ne dici della seguente query:

Select D1.u_username, U1.Permission, U1.Grade, D1.f_username, U2.Permission, U2.Grade
from tblDynamicUserList As D1
    Join tblDynamicUserList As D2
        On D2.u_username = D1.f_username
            And D2.f_username = D1.u_username
    Join tblUsers As U1
        On U1.u_username = D1.u_username
    Join tblUsers As U2
        On U2.u_username = D2.u_username